Once upon a time, when I was an impressionable lad growing up in Mansfield, Texas I believed that I was a Republican. A portrait of Ronald Reagan hung in my room, alongside an American flag, an Uncle Sam poster and a copy of the Declaration of Independence. These symbols were proof to the world of my American-ness. I didn’t hate liberals or Democrats; I just loved America and believed in Reagan. Then the Iran-contra scandal happened and I realized Reagan was a shit President. That, and it was a lot easier to nail liberal chicks in college.

Ever since Ronnie Raygun I haven’t been able to stand Republicans. I look down on conservatives generally and the dwindling number of Geedubya supporters in particular. Anyone who thinks that modern conservatism benefits the country ought to have their head examined because conservatism is a mental illness.  Goldwater started it, Nixon figured out that it required a healthy dose of racism to win elections, Reagan put the smiling face on it, Gingrich made it sleazy, DeLay turned it into a criminal enterprise and George W. Bush married it permanently to militant Christianity. There’s something seriously defective about people who can see all that is going wrong with the country yet keep voting for the GOP to continue the looting and raping of it.


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