Why I’m so excited about Rand Paul!

The scale of the Tea Baggers’ inevitable spectacular failure continues to grow as the general public learns more about what “smaller government” really means.

Part 1

Part 2


An irritating difference between liberals and conservatives.

I was delighted yesterday when Rep.  Alan Grayson (D) – FL decided to give the Republicans a taste of their own medicine on the House floor.  His tongue-in-cheek speech that the GOP’s health care plan consists of “don’t get sick” and if you do to “die quickly” was intended to drive home the point that the Republicans’ politically motivated opposition to reform will simply perpetuate the problem.

Predictably, the irony-challenged and apparently amnesiac House Republicans seized on Grayson’s remarks (which don’t differ substantively from the pronouncements of Grayson’s Republican colleagues), sanctimoniously demanding an apology and comparing him to Rep. Joe Wilson (R) – SC. I don’t really want to go down that road as it’s already being explored except to ask how many of those Republicans voted against the measure to censure Wilson?

I’m more interested in the liberal reaction to Grayson.

Last night on MSNBC I watched as Keith Olbermann and Ariana Huffington lauded Grayson while tut-tutting Grayson’s use of the word ‘holocaust’. Later Rachel Maddow did the same thing and during her interview with Grayson, she asked him at least three times whether he regretted his use of the word. Not only did this make me angry, it got me thinking.

I don’t contend that Olbermann, Huffington and Maddow are wrong to take exception with Grayson’s use of the word ‘holocaust’. I agree with them that it’s both a distraction and an inaccurate comparison.  But I think that the real distraction is that they feel the need to chide him for it.

Imagine if a Republican had made an identical speech. Would Sean Hannity, Ann Coulter and Rush Limbaugh criticize their fellow traveler for an unfortunate choice of words? No. They would circle the wagons and press their point.

Conservatives are better at gut-level communications. They aren’t afraid of their own shadows. Wrong as they are, you have to give them credit for sticking to their guns. They ruthlessly deliver their message to its intended recipients.

Opponents of reform would much rather argue about decorum and the proper usage of ‘holocaust’ than fix the existing system. Olbermann, Huffington and Maddow are simply playing into their hands. In this regard they remind of the so-called Blue dog Democrats. If health reform is defeated or watered down so as to be meaningless it will be the Blue dogs’ fault, not the Republicans.  If Democrats like Grayson who want to take a stand fail to deliver their message, part of the responsibility for that failure will rest with PC-obsessed media liberals who dilute that message with silly nattering over his choice of words.

The Democrats need more Graysons. People who aren’t afraid to call the hypocrites out. Instead of eating their own, the three aforementioned liberals (all of whom I like and respect) need to be driving home Grayson’s point. Health reform is too important to bother with self-defeating arguments over semantics.

Slappin’ Your Troubles Away

ShamWow Vince and his trademark headset have returned, with higher production values and without those edits that remove more cola than the ShamWow does. Even though he’s tried to sell me a ShamWow hundreds of times now, I still can’t peel my eyes away from the screen each time that brilliant commercial comes on. Imagine the thrill I felt when I stumbled across Vince’s new commercial for the Slap Chop. I must have rewound and watched it at least a dozen times. Do they give out awards for this kind of stuff?

slapchopvinceAs with the ShamWow Vince works all the angles. His skill at product demonstration is undeniable. This time however, the Slap Chop’s features are almost beside the point. It’s a chopper and it’s handy. What works about this commercial is that builds on the qualities that make Vince great (attitude, bombastic mugging for the camera, humor and of course, the headset) while refining his technique and losing nothing of his original appeal.

While I don’t buy into the hyperbole that correcting my boring tuna (how did he know?!?) will lead to an exciting life, it does seem that the wiseguy Vince of the ShamWow ad is rapidly evolving. Vince put his toe right up to the line with the “you’re gonna love my nuts” joke, but it’s impact is softened by his goal of making “America skinny again, one slap at a time.”

The Slap Chop offers us our first glimpse of the wiseguy-philosopher. “Life’s hard enough as it is, you don’t want to cry anymore.” Not one to miss an opportunity, Vince is appropriately in tune with today’s tough times and he has exactly the product we need.

Billy Mays has jumped the shark, trying to sell everything from health insurance to hair dye (ok, I made that up).  If Billy and Vince were politicians, Billy would obviously be John McCain, representing the stale ideas of the past whereas Vince represents a bold new future, the Obama of TV pitchmen.

You know you’re arrived when you start inspiring parody. Here are but two examples.



When is Bill Hader going to do him on SNL?

Palin’s Couric Interview

The drilla from Waslilla was the recipient of another merciless grilling by the lieberal media today. This time the interrogator was rabid lefty Katie Couric (or should I say Comrade Couric?) Kudos to Sarah Barracuda for standing up to those pinkos who just want to make her look uninformed by ambushing her with trick questions. They will pay when the Palin/McCain administration takes over.

COURIC: You’ve said, quote, “John McCain will reform the way Wall Street does business.” Other than supporting stricter regulations of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac two years ago, can you give us any more example of his leading the charge for more oversight?

PALIN: I think that the example that you just cited, with his warnings two years ago about Fannie and Freddie–that, that’s paramount. That’s more than a heck of a lot of other senators and representatives did for us.

COURIC: But he’s been in Congress for 26 years. He’s been chairman of the powerful Commerce Committee. And he has almost always sided with less regulation, not more.

PALIN: He’s also known as the maverick though. Taking shots from his own party, and certainly taking shots from the other party. Trying to get people to understand what he’s been talking about–the need to reform government.

COURIC: I’m just going to ask you one more time, not to belabor the point. Specific examples in his 26 years of pushing for more regulation?

PALIN: I’ll try to find you some and I’ll bring them to you.

I think the most patriotic thing Palin can do is to cancel her debate with Joe Biden. Washington needs “fixin'” and “shankin’ up”. We can’t afford to wait until January. We need her in DC NOW!

ShamWow? Really?

I was looking at my blog stats and I’m a little annoyed.  My number one post is a little crumb I tossed off about the ShamWow. I’ve even had comments on it from ShamWow Vince himself. In one of them that I didn’t publish he even offered me a free sample.  I’ve had more hits on that single post than all my pearls of political wisdom combined.

It’s obviously a testament to the mighty power if the ShamWow! Dismayed that Vince had beaten me I tried to resist. My delete finger got itchy, but I couldn’t go through with it. I struggled for several minutes, torn between ideological purity and commercialism. My love of all things political vs. my need for a cost effective way to soak up my many, many spilled beverages.  Can I be true to myself and free from paper towels forever?

I surrender to the ShamWow’s magnificent absorbency, it’s limitless versatility, it’s uh… German-ness. You can even wash your dog with it.

I say “wow”.    Every time.

McCain’s Acceptance Speech

My friends, did I mention I was a POW? You might not have heard since I’m so reluctant to talk about it.

My wife has been irate at me for burying my nose in the computer during the RNC for the past couple of nights, so I have to record my thoughts about McCain’s speech after the fact.

I didn’t have high expectations for him, not after Rudy and Sarah the pit bull last night. I didn’t have high expectations for Cindy either and she did not disappoint.

Side note: who was that Iraq vet holding the sign up in the nosebleed section? He’s my new hero.

McCain didn’t tell his party everything they wanted to hear tonight. Actually, he took a big risk by telling the faithful a lot of what they didn’t want to hear. McCain deserves credit for acknowledging some of the GOP’s failings. Time will tell if he’s made his stamp on the party or if he’s just another Bob Dole.

McCain tried to mock Barack once or twice, after promising to respect him. He should leave the base baiting to Palin. Honestly, I think McCain nearly lost the crowd a couple of times so flaccid was his delivery. He recited the usual litany of conservative grievances on taxes, schools, drilling, reform, spending etc. Mix that with a healthy dose of patriotism and that about sums up the speech. It’s not easy trying to reject Bush and embrace change in a Democratic year when your opponent is as dynamic as Obama.

The best part was the manly American crescendo at the end about standing up or something. McCain seemed to show a quality closely resembling passion.