I was delighted yesterday when Rep.  Alan Grayson (D) – FL decided to give the Republicans a taste of their own medicine on the House floor.  His tongue-in-cheek speech that the GOP’s health care plan consists of “don’t get sick” and if you do to “die quickly” was intended to drive home the point that the Republicans’ politically motivated opposition to reform will simply perpetuate the problem.

Predictably, the irony-challenged and apparently amnesiac House Republicans seized on Grayson’s remarks (which don’t differ substantively from the pronouncements of Grayson’s Republican colleagues), sanctimoniously demanding an apology and comparing him to Rep. Joe Wilson (R) – SC. I don’t really want to go down that road as it’s already being explored except to ask how many of those Republicans voted against the measure to censure Wilson?

I’m more interested in the liberal reaction to Grayson.

Last night on MSNBC I watched as Keith Olbermann and Ariana Huffington lauded Grayson while tut-tutting Grayson’s use of the word ‘holocaust’. Later Rachel Maddow did the same thing and during her interview with Grayson, she asked him at least three times whether he regretted his use of the word. Not only did this make me angry, it got me thinking.

I don’t contend that Olbermann, Huffington and Maddow are wrong to take exception with Grayson’s use of the word ‘holocaust’. I agree with them that it’s both a distraction and an inaccurate comparison.  But I think that the real distraction is that they feel the need to chide him for it.

Imagine if a Republican had made an identical speech. Would Sean Hannity, Ann Coulter and Rush Limbaugh criticize their fellow traveler for an unfortunate choice of words? No. They would circle the wagons and press their point.

Conservatives are better at gut-level communications. They aren’t afraid of their own shadows. Wrong as they are, you have to give them credit for sticking to their guns. They ruthlessly deliver their message to its intended recipients.

Opponents of reform would much rather argue about decorum and the proper usage of ‘holocaust’ than fix the existing system. Olbermann, Huffington and Maddow are simply playing into their hands. In this regard they remind of the so-called Blue dog Democrats. If health reform is defeated or watered down so as to be meaningless it will be the Blue dogs’ fault, not the Republicans.  If Democrats like Grayson who want to take a stand fail to deliver their message, part of the responsibility for that failure will rest with PC-obsessed media liberals who dilute that message with silly nattering over his choice of words.

The Democrats need more Graysons. People who aren’t afraid to call the hypocrites out. Instead of eating their own, the three aforementioned liberals (all of whom I like and respect) need to be driving home Grayson’s point. Health reform is too important to bother with self-defeating arguments over semantics.

I’ve been given the task of migrating an old, but large jsp website that uses loads of proprietary and outdated technology. Basically, it’s an administrator’s nightmare. I should know because I’m the administrator. I have no budget, working for a tiny company, so open source is my only option. Fortunately, there are many excellent choices that weren’t available when the antiquated system was built.

I’ve done a number of projects with Joomla, which I like quite a bit.  Joomla is easy to learn and good for getting a site up and running quickly, but for my needs it isn’t flexible enough.

I took a long hard look at Typo3, and came very close to using it. It’s extremely flexible and powerful, but the outdated documentation is abysmal. Add to that a very steep learning curve that would slow the project down not to mention having to learn (otherwise useless) typoscript and their theming system. Typo3 had many features to recommend it, but it ain’t for me.

I played with Drupal a few years ago and didn’t take the time to get to where I thought much of  it. Having grown wildly frustrated withTypo3, I decided to give Drupal another look. I’ve spent a couple of days now playing with a test installation and I’m already hooked. Drupal has everything I need. It’s flexible, powerful and scalable. It has a large user community and modules for everything you can think of.  A lot of large well-known sites use it.

I’m still just scratching the surface, but having messed around a bit with the Views module and Content Construction Kit (CCK) and I have to say that I’m impressed. I don’t think I’ll have any problems customizing Drupal to fit my needs.

ShamWow Vince and his trademark headset have returned, with higher production values and without those edits that remove more cola than the ShamWow does. Even though he’s tried to sell me a ShamWow hundreds of times now, I still can’t peel my eyes away from the screen each time that brilliant commercial comes on. Imagine the thrill I felt when I stumbled across Vince’s new commercial for the Slap Chop. I must have rewound and watched it at least a dozen times. Do they give out awards for this kind of stuff?

As with the ShamWow Vince works all the angles. His skill at product demonstration is undeniable. This time however, the Slap Chop’s features are almost beside the point. It’s a chopper and it’s handy. What works about this commercial is that builds on the qualities that make Vince great (attitude, bombastic mugging for the camera, humor and of course, the headset) while refining his technique and losing nothing of his original appeal.

While I don’t buy into the hyperbole that correcting my boring tuna (how did he know?!?) will lead to an exciting life, it does seem that the wiseguy Vince of the ShamWow ad is rapidly evolving. Vince put his toe right up to the line with the “you’re gonna love my nuts” joke, but it’s impact is softened by his goal of making “America skinny again, one slap at a time.”

The Slap Chop offers us our first glimpse of the wiseguy-philosopher. “Life’s hard enough as it is, you don’t want to cry anymore.” Not one to miss an opportunity, Vince is appropriately in tune with today’s tough times and he has exactly the product we need.

Billy Mays has jumped the shark, trying to sell everything from health insurance to hair dye (ok, I made that up).  If Billy and Vince were politicians, Billy would obviously be John McCain, representing the stale ideas of the past whereas Vince represents a bold new future, the Obama of TV pitchmen.

You know you’re arrived when you start inspiring parody. Here are but two examples.

http://parody.videosift.com/video/Shamwow-Parody

http://www.gigglesugar.com/2743243

When is Bill Hader going to do him on SNL?

The news that al-Qaeda is not enthused about Obama’s victory must have conservatives scratching their knuckle-heads. Obama, you will remember was the candidate whose dangerous naivete would make us more vulnerable to attack. His habit of “palling around with terrorists” was practically an invitation to commit another 9/11.

I think that al-Qaeda is concerned about the incoming Obama administration. Worried that the U.S. will finally have a president who takes terrorism seriously, they have already begun to lash out.

I wonder what that crazy lady, the one who told McCain that she couldn’t trust Obama because “he’s an Arab” thinks about all this. Actually, I bet she doesn’t think anything about it because a) she doesn’t seem to be much of a thinker and b) chances are she doesn’t read the New York Times.

If al-Qaeda’s endorsement of John McCain wasn’t enough to do it, their racists insults against our President-elect should erase these harebrained notions from the public consciousness once and for all.

Yay! The withered, corrupt old felon from Alaska has been defeated. The AP has just called the Alaska Senate race for Mark Begich. Too bad Sarah Palin isn’t going to get the chance to appoint herself.

http://www.dailyadvance.com/news/nation/stevens-loses-alaska-senate-race-248678.html

I’m sick of Bush and Cheney ruining my country. The sooner they’re gone the better. Here’s my evil three step plan to get Obama in the White House now.

Step 1: Dick Cheney resigns.

Step 2: Bush appoints Obama to be Vice-President. Senate confirms overwhelmingly.

Step 3: Bush resigns and Obama succeeds him immediately.

The nation is crying out for leadership. If Bush gives a crap about America and wants to help Obama start digging us out of this hole, he’ll follow this advice rather than spending the next two months pardoning criminals, burrowing his political appointees into federal agencies, rewarding cronies, issuing destructive executive orders and relaxing regulations. I can’t really think of a valid reason for him to remain in office any longer.

This is a little old, but I present it in honor of our 43rd President, who will soon be retard so he can git ta wurk own his lieberry. In a completely twisted sense, I’m going to miss him. Palin 2012!

Move over Kim Kardashian. At last the great question has been answered. The world’s most beautiful bottom belongs to Melanie Nunes Fronckowiak of Brazil. Melanie’s great achievement was recognized in a Paris posterior pageant run by Sloggi. Her bum is definitely a sight to behold. Pay no attention to the guy standing next to her. My rump is sexier than his.

This angle puts THE derriere in perspective. Wow!

This one is my favorite. If you still don’t agree that this is the most wonderful sitting device ever affixed to a human, this closeup of the champion will help you recognize it’s power. Do you detect a flaw? NO! It is perfect in every way.

Bow down before the butt. Still not convinced? Try this on for size. Uh huh.

As if you required anymore persuasion, here’s my girl reveling in her victory. What poise, what confidence. Her hiney rules and she knows it.

Warning! Do not watch this if you are on drugs.

I still miss her. Molly certainly saw this coming.

AUSTIN, Texas – Do you know how to cure a chicken-killin’ dog? Now, you know you cannot keep a dog that kills chickens, no matter how fine a dog it is otherwise.

Some people think you cannot break a dog that has got in the habit of killin’ chickens, but my friend John Henry always claimed you could. He said the way to do it is to take one of the chickens the dog has killed and wire the thing around the dog’s neck, good and strong. And leave it there until that dead chicken stinks so bad that no other dog or person will even go near that poor beast. Thing’ll smell so bad the dog won’t be able to stand himself. You leave it on there until the last little bit of flesh rots and falls off, and that dog won’t kill chickens again.

The Bush administration is going to be wired around the neck of the American people for four  more years, long enough for the stench to sicken everybody. It should cure the country of electing Republicans.

And at least Democrats won’t have to clean up after him until it is real clear to everyone who made the mess.

In some circles, that will be seen as sour grapes. But in Texas, we’ve been losing elections to the demagogic triad of God, gays and guns long enough to be pretty cynical about how it works out. I’m sure millions of Americans voted for George W. under the honest impression that he stands for moral values – family, patriotism, faith in God. I’m sure it’s the Democrats’ fault that such a silly ruse is allowed to stand. What Bush actually does stand for is nicely summed up by a rather common news story that got stuck on the business pages lately.

In September, Merck & Co., the huge drug manufacturer, pulled Vioxx off the market. Vioxx was a popular pain-killing, anti-arthritis drug, but Merck said it was putting patients’ safety first. A new study from the Federal Drug Administration showed high doses of Vioxx triple the risk of heart attack and sudden cardiac death.

From there, the story bifurcates – it takes two directions. Sen. Charles Grassley of Iowa revealed that the FDA had tried to silence the author of the study, Dr. David Graham, associate director of science in the Office of Drug Safety. Grassley said the FDA first sat on Graham’s study and that then he was “ostracized” and “subjected to veiled threats and intimidation.”

The Wall Street Journal followed the other fork, finding internal memos from Merck showing that company officials may have been aware of the dangers of Vioxx as long ago as 1996, including a memo apparently instructing its sales reps to “dodge” the question when doctors asked about the cardiac record of Vioxx.

In short, we have a toothless regulatory agency in the pocket of the industry it is supposed to patrol. We have an administration-wide contempt for science and plain facts. And the allegation against the folks at Merck is that they were making such enormous profits on a drug that killed people that when they knew or suspected it was killing people, they kept right on selling it. When the information that Merck had known for a long time about Vioxx and heart attacks became public, the company’s stock fell by 9.6 percent.

That’s the system George W. Bush stands for: where a corporation can knowingly kill people for profit and, when it finally comes out, everyone knows the penalties will be so light the company doesn’t even lose a tenth of its worth. Hey, just a little bump in the road.

We sure don’t want any of that terrible, burdensome government regulation to control that kind of behavior, do we? We sure don’t want an FDA that listens to its own scientists and acts promptly, do we? We sure don’t want anyone to sue these monster corporations, do we? I bet if it were possible to compare the odds of an American getting killed by a negligent regulatory agency and rapacious corporate behavior versus an American getting killed by a terrorist, it would turn out we need to be a lot more scared of rank greed and its enablers than we do of terrorists. And that’s not counting what the corps. (pronounced corpse) steal and mess up.

So, fellow progressives, stop thinking about suicide or moving abroad. Want to feel better? Eat a sour grape, then do something immediately, now, today. Figure out what you can do to help rescue the country – join something, send a little money to some group, call somewhere and offer to volunteer, find a politician you like at the local level and start helping him or her to move up.

Think about how you can lend a hand to the amazing myriad efforts that will promptly break out to help the country recover from what it has done to itself. Now is the time. Don’t mourn, organize.

To find out more about Molly Ivins and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate web page at www.creators.com.

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