The news that al-Qaeda is not enthused about Obama’s victory must have conservatives scratching their knuckle-heads. Obama, you will remember was the candidate whose dangerous naivete would make us more vulnerable to attack. His habit of “palling around with terrorists” was practically an invitation to commit another 9/11.

I think that al-Qaeda is concerned about the incoming Obama administration. Worried that the U.S. will finally have a president who takes terrorism seriously, they have already begun to lash out.

I wonder what that crazy lady, the one who told McCain that she couldn’t trust Obama because “he’s an Arab” thinks about all this. Actually, I bet she doesn’t think anything about it because a) she doesn’t seem to be much of a thinker and b) chances are she doesn’t read the New York Times.

If al-Qaeda’s endorsement of John McCain wasn’t enough to do it, their racists insults against our President-elect should erase these harebrained notions from the public consciousness once and for all.

Move over Kim Kardashian. At last the great question has been answered. The world’s most beautiful bottom belongs to Melanie Nunes Fronckowiak of Brazil. Melanie’s great achievement was recognized in a Paris posterior pageant run by Sloggi. Her bum is definitely a sight to behold. Pay no attention to the guy standing next to her. My rump is sexier than his.

This angle puts THE derriere in perspective. Wow!

This one is my favorite. If you still don’t agree that this is the most wonderful sitting device ever affixed to a human, this closeup of the champion will help you recognize it’s power. Do you detect a flaw? NO! It is perfect in every way.

Bow down before the butt. Still not convinced? Try this on for size. Uh huh.

As if you required anymore persuasion, here’s my girl reveling in her victory. What poise, what confidence. Her hiney rules and she knows it.

Vince the ShamWoW guy recently commented on my blog. Dare I say wow? Now I feel a little bad for dissing his product.

There’s a web forum used by people in the town where I live to discuss various topics of local interest. I enjoy posting on it from time to time, mainly to bedevil the right wing dumbasses who lurk there. I post under the name ‘mysterio’.

It isn’t easy being a red state liberal. I feel like I’m surrounded by morons. It’s frustrating because said morons are so high on “family values” and their triumphalist vision of America that they can’t see the forest for the trees. They preach personal responsibility, but when the excrement hits the air conditioning they reflexively blame the media, government, Democrats, liberals, minorities – anyone other than themselves. Occasionally this unenlightened state causes the wing-nuts to inadvertently expose the latent racism that still infects some quarters of the right.

Albatross composing his latest diatribe

Recently one of my nemeses on the forum, Albatross, composed a rant making the ludicrous claim that minorities are the cause of the mortgage crisis. I’ve never met Albatross, but he strikes me as a bitter old coot uncomfortable with the world changing around him. Normally I take this into consideration and only skewer him gently, but this time he crossed a line.

Alba’s tendency to credulously regurgitate right-wing oversimplifications of complicated issues got the better of him. I can let him slide when he blames the problem on reckless borrowers – “idiots” to use one of his favorite terms. There is after all an undeniable personal responsibility dimension to the sub-prime mess.

The thrust of Alba’s “argument” however, was that the government forced mortgage lenders to end discriminatory lending practices by “dumbing down” their standards so that more minorities could obtain loans. The orgy of irresponsible borrowing brought on by this loosening of standards led to the current crisis. The lenders themselves are only culpable to the extent that they “cowered under pressure and threats” from the government. To connect the problem in any way to the remediation of discriminatory lending practices is utterly ridiculous. I began my reply with a sardonic caricature of the racist undertones in his comment.

The mortgage crisis could have been avoided if only the gummint hadn’t bullied lenders into lavishing money on irresponsible minorities who need to have standards “dumbed down” for them. Some of them are probably even Cadillac driving welfare queens.

Brilliant, eh? I went on to highlight the origins of Alba’s dubious “idea” and to point out that it is ultimately an attempt to lay blame for the sub-prime crisis at the feet of the Democrats. I thought about continuing with a disquisition about the real causes of the problem, but quickly decided that it was unnecessary. Not only is the information readily available to anyone who can use the Google, but the webmaster of this particlar forum dislikes lengthy posts. Besides, Alba’s allies would would start to chime in and my point would be lost entirely in the dog pile. I’ve learned that the best way to deal with these ignorant nutjobs is to be brief, witty and keep them on the defensive.

I just realized that I haven’t blogged in a while because I’m a massive slacker. Most blogs are pointless anyway because they have exactly one reader. I enjoy being a slacker. It affords me the time to do the things I want to do, like finding tunes for my ipod or reading the news. It also gives me the opportunity to lament the fact that I don’t have a creative bone in my body.

My complete and utter lack of creativity annoys me because I really want to write. A novel, not just an idiotic blog. I get kinda down when I dwell on it for too long, but then I remember that there are plenty of other talentless, unoriginal people out there doing exactly what I want to do.

Enough self-pity. As soon as I have an idea, I’m gonna start writing.

I’ve attempted to blog a couple of times before, but haven’t stuck with it. It isn’t that I lack the motivation, but rather that I have trouble coming up with something to say. I find this odd and confusing because I’m very opinionated and my brain is always crunching, but I look at the blank screen and, well, nothing.

Once I tried inventing an alternate personality. I pretended to be an evil genius bent on world domination. It was a neat idea, but my creative energy was insufficient to sustain the endeavor. My second attempt was at a political blog. I have a lot of thoughts and ideas about politics and have no trouble making my arguments to friends or co-workers, but I found my blog posts to be unoriginal. I couldn’t help but feel that I was just repackaging information that I had heard or read.

Still, the desire to express myself has remained. I hosted my own genealogy website for several years and enjoyed it, but when I tried to mix it up with a little politics I wound up alienating many of my visitors.

So now I am trying again. No impersonations of Dr. Evil, no constraining myself to politics. I’m just going to write and see what happens.